The Outlook (Short Story)

By J. Will Cairns

The Outlook

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Josh was surprised, but he was happy to see her.

“I just had to talk to you, I know you’ve been sick,” she said.

“I’m not supposed to get close to people, Rachel. The doctor said it’s–”

“Very contagious. I know Josh.”

“Well, thanks for coming anyway,” said Josh. “Did you have anything specific you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, I got into that dance school,” Rachel said with very little emotion.

“That’s great!” Josh sounded 10 times more excited than she did. “It’s in town and everything.”

“Yeah.” She paused. “I’m really excited.” Her voice was telling the truth but her face seemed to be lying.

“Well I was just making some coffee. Do you want to come in?”

“Could you just bring it out here?” Rachel asked.

Josh nodded and went back inside. Rachel sat still in her car. She didn’t know why she came today. She simply knew they had to talk, and that was as far as she had gotten before driving over.

Inside, Josh poured the coffee, putting only cream in his, and only sugar in hers. He wondered why Rachel seemed so weird today. She just got into the dance school she’d been so stressed for ages about. What was wrong? He slipped something into his pocket, and decided to ask her when he went back outside.

“Coffee with two sugars for you.” Josh handed her the mug through the window. “I washed my hands and made sure to keep it away from my face.”

“I appreciate it Josh, and I’m not worried about getting sick.”

“Is something wrong? You seem less happy than usual,” Josh said gently.

I don’t know, she thought. Something is wrong, but I don’t know exactly what, and I don’t know how to tell you.

“I’m good,” she said, “Just a little tired from everything that’s been going on. Do you want to get in?”

Josh hesitated.

“I’m really not worried about getting sick. I get every vaccine and you know my mom still makes me take those vitamins.”

“Alright,” Josh said, stepping into the car.

Josh sipped his coffee as she began driving. He knew she focused better while she was doing something.

“I’m real proud of you, Rach.”

Her face winced as if she were holding back tears. “Thank you,” she said with a quick flash of a smile.

One of Rachel’s favorite songs was playing in her car. Josh began to quietly sing along, barely noticing he was doing it.

Rachel turned the music down. “How have you been? Besides being sick, of course.”

Josh blinked, his mind had been somewhere else.

“Oh, you know. It’s pretty boring. I’ve been watching a lot of TV,” Josh explained. “I tried going for a run yesterday, but I’m not quite ready to start exercising again.”

“That’s too bad. You seem much better, though,” Rachel said hopefully.

“Yeah, much better. I’m glad you’re not so busy now and you can start coming over more.”

“I’ve got a week or two before I start the summer training, so yeah. For sure.”

“Where are we going?” Josh asked.

“I just focus better on talking when I’m driving, but I do have a couple things to do if you’re okay with sticking around,” said Rachel.

“Of course,” Josh said genuinely, “I’ve missed you these past two weeks, I’d be glad to stick around.”

“Great.” Rachel grabbed his hand.

They caught up for the next few minutes until she got to the drug store.

Rachel finished her coffee and set the mug down. “I’ll be just a minute. It’s for my mom.” Rachel headed inside.

Coffee mug empty and with nothing better to do, Josh glanced around her car. In the back seat he saw his Seinfeld sweatshirt and his Red Sox hat, both of which Rachel had been holding onto.

Almost forgot she had those, Josh thought.

Rachel came back with a small paper bag with the prescription, and a plastic bag that had two bottled drinks in it.

As she sat down, she handed Josh a sparkling water.

“That’s so nice,” he said with a smile, “my throat has been hurting.”

“Don’t mention it.” She smiled back, opening a sports drink.

The next short trip was mostly quiet. The two young people just listened to music and sat in each other’s presence.

I think I’ll do it, Rachel thought.

Should I just do it now? Josh asked himself.

Looking out the window Josh noticed where they were going. “Are we going to the outlook?”

“Yeah, I thought it would be nice.”

“It will be,” said Josh.

They sat on the bench together, shoulders touching slightly.

“We haven’t been talking much,” Rachel said.

“I know, you’ve been so busy. I’ve been sick. It’s nice to talk again.”

“Our–” Rachel started, thinking about whether she would finish the sentence or not. “Our relationship hasn’t been the best recently,” Rachel said, making her decision.

Josh didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded, realizing she had more to say.

“I wasn’t completely honest earlier,” Rachel started. “I didn’t get into the dance school in town.”

Josh opened his mouth to say something, but Rachel continued. “I got into the one in California.”

“California?”

“Yeah,” she said, “LA.”

“That’s amazing,” said Josh, surprised.

“I didn’t know what to do earlier, but a few minutes ago, I made up my mind.”

Josh reached into his pocket. “What did you decide?”

The next words seemed very difficult to say for her, as if she were forcing them out of herself. “Well, I’m going to accept the one in California,” she said, “and I think we should–”

Josh smiled, he knew what she was about to say.

“I think we should end things, Josh,” Rachel said through a lump in her throat.

Josh was stunned.

“Your parents live here, you have a good job, and my mom is going to come with me.”

“You–” Josh started, “you think that’s best?”

“Yeah, Josh. I wish it could be different.”

It can be, he thought, you didn’t talk to me first.

“We can work through it, right?” he began to say, giving it his best shot. “I could come with you, or we could try long distance, or I could just wait until you finish.”

It took everything she had not to break down. “I couldn’t make you leave your parents, and it’s four years, across the country.”

She had made up her mind. Josh knew it. She was already done. She had given up.

“I brought your stuff with me.”

“You can keep it,” Josh said, slightly angry that that’s what she was thinking about. He didn’t care about a sweatshirt and a hat.

“I’ll take you home.”

Josh didn’t know what to say.

“You know I love you, Josh, this is best for both of us.” Her voice was telling the truth but her face said she didn’t truly know. It was as if she was convincing herself to believe it.

Josh put the engagement ring back in his pocket. As she drove him home, neither one said a word.